I have a sneaking suspicion that I have outgrown my fear of talking to people. People can be scary, and I still choke up every once and awhile, but I don't really dread it anymore. People are just people. I think four years and a summer of intense journalism has turned me into somewhat of a friendly person. Friendly? We'll see if that carries over bilingually. ¿Puedo ser elocuente en español también?

My goal for this post is to not complain about anything. Mind you, this is very hard, because I like to be sarcastic and it's very hard to not be whiny at the same time. Let's see how I do.

I think I'd like to be famous for a year, just to see what that kind of a life it's like. Go to a couple of Diddy's parties, maybe date an actor or a rock star to get that out of my system. Then I would stop and go back into obscurity and normal life before I become addicted to diets and plastic surgery. I don't know how I would achieve this though. I seriously doubt that there's a market out there for a science nerd who happens to listen to a lot of music and watch a lot of trashy TV. Who would watch "My So-Called Theory of Special Relativity?" Or listen to an album titled "Songs from a Particle Acclerator?" No one; therefore, the most attainable method is to find a genie's lamp and make that one of my wishes, the second wish being to have my life go back to normal (just in case you wanted to know, the third wish would be for more wishes... because I'm a cheat like that). Now that I have a plan, all I have to is wait.

Welcome to...

Is there a book called Dorm Life Sucks? As of the past... day, I wouldn't be able to write such a book, but maybe I should wait it out a bit before premature euphoria over the layout of my dorm. Common room, a spacious double, a spacious single, a good-sized single, and a painfully, inhumanely small double. Guess which I'm in?



(Back against the wall, closets to the right, bottom bunk mine!)

The two single rooms are going to the resident basketball star (6' 6" from Pennsylvania and fun) and the resident volleyball star (5' 11" from Kansas City and beautiful in the Courtney Hall sort of way). The good news is that next semester we agreed that the two squished in the double will trade for the singles.

Nothing more for now but that the shower spills to the bathroom floor and I take an ID picture that's going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

While I was making Barnes and Noble look beautiful after closing tonight, I came across an unfamiliar book that caught my eye: Dating Sucks. I have long found this statement to be true, and was excited to find some interesting advice/opinions on the subject. Feeling pretty good, I made my way from Self Help to Pregrancy and Childbirth and came across another book: Pregnancy Sucks.

Does it get any better? Or does life just suck?

A girl messaged me on facebook the other day. A freshman who is going to be living in the same room as I did last year. She sounded really enthusiastic about getting to UCLA ASAP, the message contained a lot of exclamation marks and her greeting and closing contained multiple syllables. "Hiiiiiiiiiieeeee Jen!!! I'm living in your old room next year!!! I can't wait to start up at school!! I hope to see you on campus!!! Byeeeeeeee!!!!!!" She proceeded to request me as a friend on facebook. It made me remember how restless I felt right before I left for school; I couldn't wait to shed myself from these people I called my friends and meet the people I was really meant to be friends with. Now don't think me heartless, I know most of my friends were thinking the exact same thing. And yet here I am, still in touch with most of my close friends from high school, still holding them closest to my heart, perhaps even closer than before. I thought that in going to college I was going to magically become a newer, better person with a completely new life, just like this girl seems to be thinking. I've realized that college is not this magical light at the end of the high school tunnel, but another stage of development; a stage which, like eveything else that involves change, is gradual. Also, perhaps more importantly, I've learned to make new friends, but keep the old still, cause it's the ones that stick around that are the most valuable.

Anyways, do I add this girl or not? It's like this choice between feeling weird and feeling mean.

P.S. Are we getting spam comments? Or are these actually real people?

The warm fuzzy feeling that I get from staying home alone on a Saturday night in order to rest and take care of business only lasts so long...it's 10:30, there's a rager going on outside, and I have run out of business to take care of.

In light of my crazy week, however, I think it's necessary to take this time for myself and feel like a loser.

One of the prosecutor's closing arguements was the quote, "That's really gonna hurt tomorrow." And when he wrote it on the board to impress its impact on the jury he had really bad handwriting, spelled tomorrow wrong, and only put one "n" in "gonna."

I'm going to regret this tomorrow. TAKE THAT, Mr. Lawyer.

(staying up late, that is)

I served on a jury this week. One of twelve in that little box you see in the movies, laughing and listening and dozing according to the lawyers' plans. I learned two things from the experience (if not a few more): 1) The American justice system is a completely unique and amazing concept. 2) I never want to go to court.

Well it's back to life tomorrow. No more 8:30 to 4:30 days with an hour and a half lunch for me. It's to the mini golf course tomorrow at nine, and who knows from there?

At the risk of sounding like a pop culture junkie, I caught part of the MTV awards show yesterday. The part where Dane Cook performed. And no one laughed. Really, there was complete silence. Maybe the jokes about shooting babies and guys who wear Superman shirts were in bad taste for that event, but I was laughing and knee slapping the whole time. I knew there was something wrong with those gosh darn celebrities! They have no sense of humor! But Dane took it all in stride and smiled the whole way because he knows he is a damn good looking guy, he's funny, and he's getting head no matter what. So this post (get it? post rhymes with toast? AHAHAHAHA!) is to you Dane.

Change?

Change? I'm emotionally frail, gingerly materialistic, and totally digging mary jane and loafer pumps, and dustbusters, and appreciating people, who after all these years, are still finding things to say to me. So go Marc Jacobs, Yves Saint Laurent, Black & Decker, and viewers like you.

And my k12 life is slowly dusting its way into bags and boxes and bags.

Now that Lindsey has brought the whole idea of change, it has caused me to think about how I've changed since school. Well no, that's a lie, I've actually been thinking about it a lot lately. I guess that's what I get for not being able to fall asleep until 5 am cause it's so damn hot. Plus, I'm at home on a Saturday night writing this piece that no one will ever read because they're too damn lazy to read anything longer than 5 lines, you figure out how busy I am. I know every year that I've been at college I've gone through some sort of identity crisis (you know, the standard emo "what the fuck is wrong with me?" thinking) and that I have had to deal with a lot of dumbasses... the worst kind of dumbasses too, like the ones who don't realize that they are dumbasses and mistake their stupidity for coolness. No, I don't enjoy spending my entire dinners listening to guys try to one up each other with their stories of the craziest thing they ever did with a knife with one ear and girls giggling about inside jokes and trash talk that isn't even that funny with the other (BIG shocker!). However, I have noticed throughout these past couple of years, that I have found people that I can count on no matter what, and I know that not a lot of people can say that. Also, in my great introverted reflection on the recent past I've remembered the kind of person I want to be... now I just have to make sure that I have a strong enough hold on that idea that I won't go through another period where I want to be like every other mall-loving-giggling-about-stupid-things-pretending-to-not-give-into-chauvanism-but-will-really-be-any-guy's-bitch-for-a-kiss-Family-Guy-loving person out there (*disclaimer: I actually really do like Family Guy, it's a really funny show, but for goodness sake people, don't make it your god).

Wow, talk about it being blunt 'n sassy day. And yes, it does feel good to whine. TAKE THAT BIOTCH!!!

Lately i've been liking things that I never thought I would like. I bought a pair of high heels, I wear nail polish, I wear skirts almost every day, beer and wine are growing on me, sushi with any kind of fish is good, it's fun to go crazy every once in awhile... Maybe it's good to be adventurous; I feel like i'm changing for the better. Yet even so, I look up at the personal crest I made senior year and most of the fundamental traits are still the same. What does that say? Good things, I guess.

I always felt lame on job apps or resumes when you're supposed to put your computer skills because I really don't have any extraordinary ones. Word? Everyone knows word. Powerpoint? We learned that in ninth grade. Well now friends, perhaps it's not extraordinary, but now I can put Excel. Today is data entry day in the exciting world of entry-level journalism and I am the star. At least i'm getting paid. That's right, three whole dollars more than I get for selling books and membership cards to the snobs and tourists of Santa Barbara.

Today is also blunt 'n sassy day.

I swear that I just took my SATs, and now I have to study for another standardized test?! The MCAT is like the same thing, except longer (8 hrs total, including a 1 hr lunch break), with essays, and I want it to die even more. I've been working on it all summer, and I'm not getting any better. Grr... back to the books...

I really like home.

When I was in high school I used to make excuses so I could stay in the house and laze around (that's my nerdy secret). My first two years of college I wished for those lazy days and nights, but there's just something about the dorms that's unwelcoming so I went out as much as possible. The first part of this summer was so busy I had no time to laze around my apartment, but that made me long for it even more. Now I have my free time, and it's glorious. If you need me, I'm at home.

What the "H" Cookie?!

This post entitled: Look What Harvard University Dining Services Sent Me (also known as: What the "H" Cookie Damn Fool Kind of School am I Getting Myself Into?)




I hope it's tasty. E-mail me your mailing address if you'd like some.

Countdown to ...

Places, places, places-- my summer's been defined by the roadmap of San Diego; if I was in a movie montage of me reminiscing about the Summer of 05, I'd be pushing colorful pins into Vista, San Marcos, Leucadia, Solana Beach, Encinitas, Clairemont, Hillcrest, and Downtown San Diego. I was no globetrotter, but I'd say that the cumulative number of hours spent sitting in traffic on the 5, 78, and 15 would add up to a trip to Europe. If only I could get frequent flier miles for filling up on gas.

I'm more than half-packed for Boston and I've got 16 slow, precious, molasses days left to endure in San Diego. With a little bit of luck, they will pass quicker than I can say "I miss burritos, the beach, and Manhattan Giant Pizza."

I'm barely a day back from a week vacation on a cruise trip, and already reality is harsher than I remember. It's sweeted by such things as promotions - i'm no longer just an intern and i'm getting paid — but unfortunately achievements and visions of success can't fill all voids and heal all wounds. Welcome home.

I think this works now.

I had a great weekend in Santa Barbara last weekend, Jenna came down during the week, and then this weekend I went up to Glendora (in LA) with Kel and Sam and went to Kel's cousin's bday party. It was so much fun and I was so full even when I went to bed. I got to meet all of Kel's high school friends, which was really cool. So I really can't complain about things going badly lately. Unfortunately, my 17 year old cat, Tina has been sick. My mom told me that she passed away last night. Even while many of you may be thinking "oh big deal, one of Juli's cats died," it is a big deal. I've had Tina forever and she was the most awesome cat ever. I'm really upset about it, but luckily things are going really well for me lately. So if you see me moping, you'll know why.