"I hate girls" Ross said.

And I believe him, because I also hate that brain disconnect that makes girls (aka me) so crazy. But in the same breath he was telling me about the hottest girl he's ever seen, so I suspect that he doesn't really hate girls ... just as I have grown somewhat accustomed to my craziness and am actually able to laugh at myself occasionally. Girls aren't so bad ...

I drempt that I slept til August, but when I woke up it was 10:30 on a sunny January day.

The first week of school has officially been a success! I'm actually glad to be back.

I have tickets to see Ani DiFranco on Febrary 14.

Anonymous

Hi! My name is LeeAnn, I'm a second semester senior.

"And then I don't know why but I had to run away. I had to hide myself at the other end of the garden, in the jungle part, under a tree that wouldn't mind if I lay down and cried a long time. I closed my eyes like tight stars so that I wouldn't, but I did. My face felt hot. Everything inside hiccupped.
I read somewhere in India there are preists who can will their heart to stop beating. I wanted to will my blood to stop, my heart to quit its pumping. I wanted to be dead, to turn into rain, my eyes melt into the ground like two black snails. I wished and wished. I closed my eyes and willed it, but when I got up my dress was green and I had a headache."

- Sandra Cisneros The House on Mango Street

I went for a run today in the fading 4:30 light. I was anticipating it getting dark fairly soon, so I set off fast, hoping to get at least a lap around the lagoon in before night set in. It didn't get dark, so I kept going and going, and going and going. When I finally stopped, it was dark. Damn it felt good. I guess I was just in one of those oh-so-rare running moods.

I saw Jen on Thursday. We protested Bush and the war together, with my friend Kendra.

Life is FUN again! I had a good day today. Busy day tomorrow. I couldn't be happier!

Well it's the last weekend before school starts. I'm really looking forward to the next few days because everyone's gonna be back, it should be a lot of fun! I haven't had much to look forward to lately. Also, while watching Garden State for the 4th time, Brian and I decided we're gonna go play in the rain together next time it rains, so I've got that to look forward to too!

and my car's all better and i'm taking surfing, yay, life is good

now- if only i could sleep!

and it's only doubts that we're counting
on fingers broken long ago
i read with every broken heart
we should become more adventurous

and if you banish me from your profits
and if i get banished from the kingdom up above
i'd sacrifice money and heaven all for love
let me be loved
let me be loved

and if my brain quits
well i guess then that's just it
and if my hands stop workin'
you can call me lazy
and if i get pregnant
i guess i'll just have the baby
let it be loved
let me be loved

i've been tryin' to nod my head
but it's like i've got a broken neck
i wanna say i will
as my last testament
for me to be saved and you to be brave
we don't have to walk down that aisle
because if marriage ain't enough well
at least we'll be loved

i felt the wind on my cheek
comin' down from the east
and thought about how we are all
as numerous as leaves on trees
and maybe ours is the cause of all
mankind getting love make more
try to stay alive

i've been tryin' to nod my head
but it's like i've got a broken neck
i wanna say i will
as my last testament
for me to be saved and you to be brave
we don't have to walk down that isle
because if marriage ain't enough well
at least we'll be loved

- Rilo Kiley "More Adventurous"

does anyone else remember a goofy movie? someone in my building was sharing some songs from that movie on itunes and i downloaded them... and now i can't stop listening to tevin campbell's (powerline's) sweet crooning. hahaha, i miss being 11, or however old i was when that movie came out.

Well I registered for classes yesterday morning and I ended up with a dreaded Monday, Wednesday, Friday class. So I had two classes lined up to crash and then when I checked the schedule a few minutes ago there was an opening in one of them and I got it! I am very excited!!! I have more to post about, but at the moment I don't really feel like it because my head hurts so I think I'm going to go downstairs to watch tv and curl up on the couch. Maybe I'll eat a little ice cream too, I'm good at that. I'm spending th weekend at home because I'm carless and there's nothing better to do. Plus my parents feed me and buy me stuff when I'm at home! =D

this sucks, i'm going through an awkward puberty phase 5 years too late. i feel lame not posting stuff on here (since that's i'm on here in the first place), but then i feel lame when i do post because i really have nothing to say. even when my parents call to check and see how i'm doing, i have nothing to say to them because my life is that boring. i see people from home that i know online, but i don't even message them because i'm too nervous to try and carry on a conversation. when i'm around people, i'm not as talkative anymore... it's harder to make myself heard nowadays and i always think the things i say are so retarded. i guess i have a crush on someone, but i'm way too awkward around him, something i haven't done in a long time. generally, i just feel incredibly inadequate which sucks because i made so much progress in the past year, and now i'm relapsing. ahh! why am i so lame? (for those of you who can't look into subtlties, that was a rhetorical question... i don't think i could handle an actual honest answer to that)

It's been a weird melancholy sort of day. It's cloudy and cold, i'm unshowered and bundled in my new Tri Club sweatshirt. My eyes are burning from the sleep I didn't get last night. I just saw, in passing, the guy I was involved with for 3 weeks last year. I don't really have anything pressing to do and no one to share it with. I'm listening to The Ataris. My frown won't lift.

It's funny thinking about how blogging has changed for me over the years. I remember when we first started The Hankerchicks blog, we'd all post almost everyday about what happened at school and silly little inside jokes to each other. I guess our friendships sorta changed along with the blogging. It's weird to think about.
I don't have the same kind of friendships I had in high school... especially freshman year. A group of friends who would hang out every Friday afternoon without fail. Now I have my roommates, but they're not the same. I can hardly talk to one of them anymore. At the beginning of the year we'd hang out a lot, but that changed pretty fast. I'm not quite sure why.
I find myself lying awake trying to figure out who I want to live with next year, which is what really made me start thinking about all this, I think. I'm too anal to live with people. I can't stand it when people make any sort of mess and don't clean it up. If you wanna have a messy room, I'm fine with that, that's your area, but when the kitchen is dirty, I get upset. And no one takes out the trash. I always do, but right now I'm on a strike. It was full last night and then EJ put more stuff in it. I'm not taking it out this time!
However, I don't like being alone therefore I can't live by myself. I'm not an independant sort of person. I just don't know...
This is what blogging used to be. Me going on rants about stuff that no one cares about except me. Who wants to live with me next year?!?! =D

I've been really into the phrase "SOL" lately. That is, "Stuck out of luck." My history teacher in 11th grade used to say that all the time, and everyone would laugh. I only recently learned that he was disguising the more standard meaning, "Shit out of luck." Well, stuck or shit, it still makes me laugh, and it still does wonders to describe my current situation.

We may suck, but after dealing with the rain and the puddles all weekend, in and out of the car, I feel smart and safe. Besides, I may have found a place to live next year, and being here to claim it was key.

go bruins

I had a really fun weekend in LA. Actually I'm still here, but leaving tomorrow, so it's pretty much over. So despite everyone bailing (Lindsey and Ross, you guys suck) it was a lot of fun. The rain kept it interesting and UCLA hates me cuz I got another parking ticket here. Oh well. Joe and I threw up in the front lawn and then more in the bathroom and he used bread to blow his nose... three times. Jello shots lead to pinkness... All in all it was really fun. The Chargers lost today though, that sucked. Then we got chinese food and played poker and watched Dodgeball. Tomorrow I get to drive home in the rain, hooray. I'm done now. Hope everyone had an enjoyable weekend!

To His Coy Mistress
by Andrew Marvell

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp'd power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone.
I had a lot of fun :)



My new year's resolution? Go to bed earlier. Hahaha, wish me luck! What's yours?